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Writer's Block: Conversation starters

Are there any subjects you either embrace or totally avoid talking about when you meet someone new?

I can talk about a wide range of subjects freely and without judgement, but I kind of shut down when people ask me how I ended up where I am today. It's not like I have anything to be ashamed of, and I would also be curious as to why a girl from Philadelphia ended up in Vermont and then a nearly unheard of town in Ohio, but it's just something I'd rather not talk about. This is mainly because I came here as a result of a compromise; I now live exactly between the cities that my boyfriend and I grew up in, which are both six hours apart from where I am. I don't really want to admit that to other people. It makes me feel subservient and boring. Admittedly the only thing keeping me here is my relationship, and if that were to fall through, I would be in many other places aside from Ohio. Don't get me wrong - I am super happy in my relationship and moving here has helped me gain a lot of things that I wouldn't have had anywhere else. I miss what I left often, but things are working out here, too. I just don't want to admit how I came to come here in the first place.

So when people ask, "What made you decide to move here?" I usually answer with an, "Oh, I don't know!" and leave it at that or comment on how the rubber industry is booming. No mention of relationships...although I guess it's not so bad to admit that you moved for love. Love makes you do crazy shit like that.

There Goes 2010

It's time for the yearly survey! And I actually didn't go on a blog-erasing rampage so I have ONE year to compare my answers to. Hello, 2009. (It was actually taken from my old journal, nilubol, which I have been debating migrating to this journal. I copied it over to here for accessibility's sake anyway.)

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Hi, Livejournal world! December has been a fairly distracting month for me. I'm not sure what I should discuss first.

Mike and I left Michigan yesterday and spent the night in our apartment in Ohio. Now we're in Philadelphia! I was worried that there would be complications because apparently toll roads were closing, but there is absolutely no evidence of a major and "historical" snowstorm here. It is actually kind of pathetic. My car is running wonderfully though, and the cylinder 1 misfire code that I was getting actually had nothing to do with the several blown gaskets that were leaking oil into the engine - it just wasn't grounded properly! Although it was pretty fortunate that we caught the first issue, wouldn't you say? When I got to Philadelphia, Mike told me to park on top of a pile of snow to which I replied that was absolutely stupid, but I did it anyway because there was nowhere else to park...and so I ripped off the bottom of my car. Then my dad yelled at me because he hates the car and prefers that I get rid of it. I think I got the sucky end of that deal.

School is being a pain in the ass, of course. Right now I'm trying to have them disperse my financial aid money to another college that I'm also attending (mainly because they screwed up my first semester and subsequently my second semester as well). They are just...frustrating. And they are closed for the holiday and the soonest I can reach them is the date that my tuition is due. Blech, school. I might drop out and just go backpacking for some years.

Speaking of which, my aunt is FINALLY asking me for the information she needs to put me down as her flying companion. This means that I can fly (almost) anywhere either super cheap or super free! That would be amazing! There are so many places I want to go, people I want to meet, and blah blah blah. The only problem is my boyfriend? I might be getting to that point where I'm super anxious without his presence or just constantly worrying about either of us.

Going back to Michigan really helped our relationship, though. I suppose it was just the fact that I was interacting with other people! But now I'm obsessed with him and constantly worrying and like I said, anxious. I guess I have issues either way...but I like this kind more.


Journaling no longer has the effect that it once had. It used to be a compulsive need to get every minute detail down - just for myself - but I'm finding that it's not as helpful as I thought it would be. Nevertheless I'll try, because these things are always fun to read in the future, right?

I drove to Muskegon on Friday even though I probably shouldn't have, since I took the car to get checked out and there were some major problems with it. My boyfriend has had this problem before and said he can fix it, so I believe him. He's going to take it to his grandfather's and probably check it out with his dad, although I don't know how his dad came into play. I probably don't trust them as much as I should, but it is a fairly simple problem. I actually don't trust many people with the car because no one knows how to work with it.

I am VERY possessive when it comes to being at Mike's house. I absolutely despise being seen as a couple and I take measures to ensure that the terms "we" and "us" aren't used, but that we clearly remain separate. It doesn't work well because we aren't, and I look like an asshole for it. But when people call it "Mike's car" or "Mike's camera," I just want to point out that they are my things. Mine, mine! I am a fully grown toddler.

Also, last night people were staring at me and wondering how I'd react after Mike commented on some (middle aged) woman's figure being nice. That is absolutely ridiculous! As if people expect me to not allow my long term partner to not look at other bodies and appreciate them! What kind of person do they think I am?

Not quite so bearded

About every three months or so, I get a tiny little hair on my chin that is my attempt at growing a beard. Plucking it out is the most satisfying thing ever.


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January 2011


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